Can You Get Over Someone You Love?

February 18th, 2009

Of course you can.  People do it all the time but it’s not always easy.  How can I get over someone I love is a question that is often asked but the answers aren’t always easy.  The process of getting over a lost love and moving on can be a painful one.  It doesn’t always happen quickly either.  You could have feelings for your ex for a long time, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get over them.

Losing someone that you love can make you unhappy for months if not years.  But these feelings are usually at their worst shortly after the breakup.  As time passes, even though the feelings may still be there they are not as overwhelming as they once were.  They don’t have to remain at such a heightened sense that they become paralyzing to you or cause you to slip into a depressed state.  There is always a normal grieving period after you go through a painful breakup.  It will get easier.

If you are the one that was rejected in the relationship then you will likely be the one that hurts the most.  There is no way to avoid this so you just have to buckle down and get through it.  No matter what you do you will feel sadness and heartache.  Can you get over someone you love?  Try these things to help you:

1.  Remove any items you can that are “painful” reminders of that person.

2.  Avoid the places that the two of you used to go (not forever, just during your grieving period).

3.  If you feel you need more help, seek professional counseling.

These three items are likely on every list written to help someone get over a painful breakup.  They are at least worth a try.  Counseling can help because they can remain objective and offer helpful advice.   The advice and tips that they give can be more specific to your situation than a generic list can be.  You can also be open and honest with a counselor, maybe moreso than you can with family and friends.

Family and friends may know your situation too well.  They may be able to help you get over someone you love but their motives may be for the wrong reasons.  They may not have liked your ex in the first place so they will do anything to help you move on.  You may not be able to share all of your feelings with family and friends out of embarrassment or pride.  In the end this will not be helpful.  Family and friends are not professionals regarding relationships.  The advice they give you will be based on their own experiences.  If they are negative people or have been through bad breakups then the advice that they give you will likely be more destructive than helpful.

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